Sandra Dee Dates

Tales from a sweet and innocent girl next door. Well, okay. Maybe not that innocent.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Didn't I tell you I was a mass murderer?

Sometimes I think I really should just sabotage the date.

You know. Like tell them I'm going through rehab. Or was just released from prison. Or better yet, tell them I'm married.

Don't get me wrong. The bowling was fun. But the highly competitive nature of my date was just about all I could handle. He bowls on a league. I didn't know this. "If I get three more strikes, I'll be 60 points ahead of you!" he cheered.

Excuse me? Chill out. This is supposed to be fun. It's called a game.

The conversation was nice. That is, if you like your date to talk all the freaking time. And when I tried to enter something into the conversation, he would interrupt me and finish my sentences.

It was like a race for me to get my words out before he would start talking again.

After two games, I had pretty much had enough, but he wanted to know if I wanted anything to eat. "Where were you wanting to go?" I asked. He wanted to eat at the bowling alley.

Now I'm not above bowling alley food, but it's not the healthiest thing the world, so I told him I wasn't hungry. Plus I just wanted to go home.

"I ate lunch. I'm good," I said. And he acted like he had never heard anyone who had skipped a meal. "You haven't eaten since lunch?" he said. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! And not to mention very unhealthy to skip meals like that. I hope you don't do that all the time!"

Yes, I do skip meals all the time, thankyouverrrrymuch.

He got something to eat anyway.

Did I mention that he picked me up? At my house? This was the first time for him to do this with me. And he brought bottles of wine. I mean, I thought it was nice, but awfully presumptuous. It just looked like he was inviting himself into my house after the bowling.

And that he did. "Let's go in and drink that wine and watch tv," he said.

WHY AM I SO FREAKIN' NICE?! I said yes. I don't know why I said yes, but I did.

We had some nice conversation. Wait. He had some nice conversation, and I did my best to stay awake and listen to him drone on and on and on. That was more like it.

By 11:20, I am just about asleep on the couch. I told him I was getting tired, and said he should probably go.

"Oh, but the Seinfeld reruns come on in 10 minutes! Let's wait and watch that first," he said.

Ah yes. Why didn't I sabotage the date again?

I think I'm going to tell him I'm gay.

9 Comments:

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Jamy said...

I'm sorry, but this is a HILARIOUS story. What happened to this guy? He seemed to have a personality transplant!

Next!

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Liz said...

I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head at your date. I have found myself in that situation more than once. I have sadly learned to sabotage my dates if I feel that they are going south quickly. I don't like doing it, but there is such a things as common courtesy and manners.

 
At 1:25 PM, Anonymous Natalie said...

Ugh. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling in Guyville. I'm giving it up. Maybe it will be better when I come back.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger londongirl said...

Poor you - and he seemed so nice!!! Clearly not the considerate type.

Our mothers have a lot to answer for by making us so nice and considerate of others that we sit through painful dates for hours on end.

I usually try the tired excuse too - but when it doesn't work it's hard to know what to say without being blatantly rude.

How do these people get to be so thick skinned??

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger Ally said...

What a horrible date! I'm working on not being so nice too--it's like we feel like we owe a very rude person our time even though we don't.

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger Lindsey said...

At least you're getting dates. :o)

But my best friend got finally met a guy and he's just as bad as you're bowling guy. He drank 5 beers within the first hour and then he 'middle school' kissed her at the end of it.

 
At 4:56 PM, Blogger Cheryl said...

What a jerk!

You got to stick up for yourself next time. He doesn't seem to get subtle hints.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger The Librarian said...

Oh wow...although it makes for an entertaining story afterward I'm sure it was torture actually going through it! So sorry to hear about the date going downhill Sandra.

 
At 6:55 AM, Anonymous Na'Cole said...

Okay when you said he was no more, I had no idea this was why! I'm so sorry for his hideousness. P.S. It was great to see you. Please excuse my fit of joy. :)

 

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