The First Love Situation
Saturday morning, I bounded out of bed for a community-wide rowing competition. No, I wasn't competiting. (Sorry Jamy! Hopefully you'll enjoy the story anyway!) Instead, because my friend was the volunteer coordinator for the event, I had volunteered to run the VIP tent for the special fancy-schmancy donors.
After parking and signing in, I headed to the tent. And guess who was there. Remember the unexpected friend from a few weeks back? Yup. And guess how did he greeted me. With a huge smile and a hug. I really had forgotten about him and how adorable he is.
We didn't get to work the entire time together because he was scheduled to leave just about after I got there. But it was really nice seeing a friend. And his hug didn't hurt things.
In other news, I think my blogging about the online prospects may have jinxed it. I have not heard back from one guy. This online deal is for the birds, I tell you. I would much rather focus on the in-person variety for a while.
Speaking of the in-person variety, I know many of you would like to know more about The First Love Situation, as I like to call it. The Bible study is tomorrow. And I'm so nervous I can hardly talk about it.
I'm nervous that he might have some hateful things to say about me. I'm nervous that he might have some wonderful things to say about me. I'm nervous that he might not want to catch up with one another. I'm nervous that we decided to catch up, and my feelings for him come back. I'm nervous that the feelings don't come back.
Or what if I secretly want the feelings to come back? But do I want him? Or do I just like the cutesy story that it would make? And am I ready to leave my life as a single gal and enter relationship land again?
It was five years ago. He and I are completely different people now Or at least I certainly am. And I'm scared that he might like and remember the girl from five years ago and not the mature woman I am today.
Gah. I am a worry wart.
posted by Sandra Dee @ 7:59 PM
7 Comments:
I love you but you're crazy.
Women get better with age. If he does not appreciate or like you now, then you really are much better off not thinking about him at all. I find that when we are single, sometimes we are not really into the person as much as we are into how the situation (i.e. the uncertainity, the mystery, the crush) makes us feel.
Hope things go in your favor with Ben!
Thanks for the update!
Well we all worry sometimes, hang in there. and remember you are fabulous.
longtime reader, longtime poster...two things today: 1) yes, blogging about your relationships will jinx them... and two, you're in love with the idea of the ex, not with him...I did the same thing and we were off and on again for another couple of years before we finally broke up about 18 month ago after two years of trying to make it work...but then again...I'm not the person to take relationship advice from... ;-)
How did it go? All things considered, I'd prefer to see someone grow and evolve over time than to stay exactly the way they were. It's actually kind of a negative if someone hasn't changed after so long.
Calm, my darling. Don't worry so much about what Ben thinks of this you or the you of five years ago. You just worry about what YOU think of you NOW...in the present.
I think you rock...so remember that.
CP.
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